The Quest for Monday! Part 6: Like (A Hole Where) A Rocket (Was)

(Episode: “Arctic Splashdown”)

Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.

Tip 6: Don’t be afraid to take risks in service of doing the right thing.

"Even if it kills Race...I mean, me."
“Even if it kills Race…I mean, me.”

…Especially if the right thing involves big, splashy explosions that wipe out the bad guys.

If this were in the South, someday one of my relatives would give directions by saying, "Turn left where that old downed missile used to be..."
If this were in the South, someday one of my relatives would give directions by saying, “Turn left where that old downed missile used to be…”

 

Next time: Found-Again Friday will likely be postponed; the good news is, the movie I once rated as the worst I’d ever seen has not yet arrived from Netflix. Which brings us to…

Next time on TQfM!: In case I haven’t mentioned it often enough, I really like mummies.

The Quest For Monday! Part 5: It’s A Jungle Out There, Even When It Isn’t

(Episode: “Arctic Splashdown”)

Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.

Tip 5: Always take time to note the native fauna.

A trip to the polar regions is a good time to get close to the animals:

Despite common preconceptions,these bears prefer Sprite; it doesn't stain their fur.
Despite common preconceptions,these bears prefer Sprite; it doesn’t stain their fur. Camouflage is paramount.
The rare Sam Waterston's Whale, with characteristic eyebrows.
The rare Sam Waterston‘s Whale, with characteristic eyebrows.

On the other hand, responsible explorers will take care not to get too close.

...You know. As a rule.
…You know. As a rule.

 

Next time: It’ll probably be spooky.

The Quest For Monday! Part 4: Strategy!

Episode: “Arctic Splashdown”

Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.

Tip 4: Plan, plan, plan.

No expedition is complete without putting a lot of thought into things like food, shelter, transport, and who or what might’ve knocked a secret weapon into the polar regions. Make lists! Draw diagrams! Check your ideas with friends!

Build small models even though you have perfectly good access to specs and a video feed!
Build small models even though you have perfectly good access to specs and a video feed, and leave them lying around your office!

Details count.

Next time: I’ve been too long away from old cop shows…until now.

Next time on TQfM!: If you thought polar bears were already in trouble, just you wait.

The Quest For Monday! Part 3: The Moral Of The Story Is…

Episode: “Mystery of the Lizard Men”

Synopsis: A group of bad guys blows up ships while testing their new laser weapon. Being expert in all things sciency, Dr. Quest and family are asked to investigate: eventually they defeat the enemy using a big mirror.

Tip 3: Everyone makes mistakes…no, really!

It’s a tough world out there. One minute you’re out seeking the Lost Temple of the Bewildered Goldfish God and the next you find out the curse wasn’t even real. (Well, it was, but only for eleven seconds.) And so it is with the Quests, who quickly realize the Lizard Men are just laser-wielding scuba divers and deal with them accordingly…with science!

Take a good look while you can...there's a mirror aimed at his laser beam. (And why did the people reporting frog-men not add "CYCLOPTIC" to that description? It seems important.)
Take a good look while you can…there’s a mirror aimed at his laser beam. (And why did the people reporting frog-men not add “CYCLOPTIC” to that description? It seems important.)

But while all’s well that ends well, this adventure only goes to show the importance of bouncing back when you make mistakes—mistakes like, oh,  I don’t know, overestimating the load-bearing capacities of a rope.

And by "bouncing back," I mean "…after first falling down a hatch and knocking yourself out cold."
And by “bouncing back,” I mean “…after first falling down a hatch and knocking yourself out cold.”

Resilience, my dears.

 

Next time: I have the perfect Found-Again movie. I can tell because I hate the very idea of rewatching it. Also, as I said last time, I’ll be participating in the They Remade What?! Blogathon hosted by Phyllis Loves Classic Movies. Like Charade? Like The Truth About Charlie? Hate either and have really good reasons why? Come comment on my upcoming post!

Next time on The Quest For Monday!: The Quests head north. Pack your thermals!

The Quest For Monday! Part 2: Zap.

Episode: “Mystery of the Lizard Men”

Synopsis: A group of bad guys blows up ships while testing their new laser weapon. Being expert in all things sciency, Dr. Quest and family are asked to investigate: eventually they defeat the enemy using a big mirror.

Tip 2: Technology is your friend! Well, maybe not *your* friend…

It’s the villains’ eternal ally:

I also like to think this is how they make toast. Eeeeeeevil toast.
I also like to think this is how they make toast. Eeeeeeevil toast.

Even Dr. Quest can bend it to his will…

Maybe it's me, but this just seems like the kind of demo where goggles might be in order.
Maybe it’s me, but this just seems like the kind of demo where goggles might be in order.

But lasers can be a cruel mistress/adversary. Just ask this guy, assuming you know Portuguese.

"Tchau, mundo cruel!"
“Tchau, mundo cruel!”

Always take care around beams of killer light.

 

Next time: A 10% chance of Goldblum for Friday.

Next time on TQfm!: Proper form when getting shanghaied.

 

 

The Quest For Monday! Part 1: This Is Where Our Taxpayer Dollars Go, Folks

Episode: “Mystery of the Lizard Men”

Tip 1: Know your animals!

See that episode title up there? Sounds exciting, but what we actually see in this adventure is neither Lizard Men nor even Frog Men, but frogmen—you know, the kind that definitely exist. The lone survivor whose boat they blew up thinks they are lizard people, though, so I guess it counts?

"On reflection, I think that was just a guy in scuba gear. I may be a wounded Portuguese sailor, but Mamai didn't raise no dummies, you know?"
“On reflection, I think that was just a guy in scuba gear. I may be a wounded Portuguese sailor, but Mamai didn’t raise no dummies, you know?”

This also applies to special-forces nannies, it turns out, and here the government is doing a little better than our hapless fisherman. They know who agent Roger “Race” Bannon is—”tutor, companion, and all-around watchdog” to little Jonny Quest—but aren’t too sure where he is, since one of the guys with a clearance high enough to see the file (the Quests  and Race are File 037, should you want to dazzle your loved ones with trivia) has to ask the other one.

"Where IS Race Bannon? …Say. He's behind me, isn't he?" "Gee, I don't know, Bob, are you ALREADY DEAD??"
“Where IS Race Bannon these days? …Say. He’s behind me, isn’t he?”
“Gee, I don’t know, Bob, are you ALREADY DEAD??”

Taxonomy is SO important.

 

Next time: It has nothing to do with vampires. Not in this movie, anyway.

Next time on TQfM!: Fun. Sun. Laser beams.

The Quest For Monday! Introduction

Lest you think I’ve never had a silly blog idea before the time I thought “You know, I need a much broader platform to address my ongoing concerns about Highlander,” permit me to introduce my long-abandoned Tumblr project: The Benton Quest Field Guide to the world of Jonny Quest. Do Tumblr and WordPress cross-post well? I imagine not! But let’s not let that stop us. From here on out the posts will be new, but this first one is from 2011.

Well, I did say abandoned, didn’t I?

 

INTRODUCTION: THE BENTON QUEST FIELD GUIDE

I recently got the opportunity to rewatch the original Jonny Quest cartoon series, with…interesting results.

As a child, I freely envied Jonny: his father was a marine biologist [more or less], and he got to travel the world with his best friend, his dog, and an ex-Special Ops guy as a babysitter. (In contrast, my father was a CPA, my dog and friends thoroughly uninterested in adventure, and while Mom really liked Chuck Norris movies, that does not a Navy SEAL make.) I was a big fan of nature magazines at the time, and the exotic locales and carefully rendered animals* captured my imagination completely.

It would be unfair to say that the show hasn’t withstood the test of time: more accurately, when confronted by the test of time, Race Bannon wrestled it to the ground while the rest of the show skipped gleefully toward Weirdsville. My goal is to watch the DVDs in order and chronicle, as best I can, the important tips and wisdom of the peripatetic Dr. Benton Quest (and his associates—please don’t hurt me, Mr. Bannon).

As for the opening credits above, what more clearly says “scientist” like furtively glancing around while you’re being piloted in an untenably huge jet? Dr. Quest should probably also concern himself with his son’s amazing disappearing chin.

*With one exception, which will be discussed later. I suspect it’s a hitherto-unremarked species!

You can also find this at The Benton Quest Field Guide!