There Can Be Only Monday! Talking about Highlander…A Lot, Part 8

Last time: Brenda found a sword and demonstrated some basic knowledge of police procedure. Hurrah!

8. Sword and farcery.

After the introduction of Brenda and her discovery of the sword, we move to Connor at the police station, being stared at by Garfield, the cop who was holding a big gun and doing a terrible Dirty Harry impression back when the Highlander was apprehended. Connor stares back, and Garfield begins to blink nervously.

I’m pretty sure this exchange is supposed to signify that Garfield is alarmed at some instinctual level by confrontation with an eldritch entity he can’t understand, but it also works at a level where Garfield is just a giant weasel with a limited supply of intestinal fortitude.

Lt. Moran tries in the most transparent ways possible to get Connor (or rather, Connor’s current identity as Russell Nash, antique dealer) to admit that he might, just maybe, be involved with making the headless Fasil headless. I’ve spent the past year listening to old-time radio mysteries, so I can say with some authority that this part makes detectives played by Jack Webb look like masters of subtlety. What I can’t believe, though, is that Moran has the sword. You know, that million-dollar Toledo Salamanca from last time? To his credit, it has been placed in a plastic bag, but I have serious doubts about whether in another interrogation room someone is, say, waving a Picasso canvas around and yelling at a suspect. Times were hard in the ’80s in the Big Apple, even without a bunch of immortal weirdos running around, but has no one in the NYPD got a camera these guys could borrow?

To add insult to injury, since it’s Fasil’s sword, it very clearly hasn’t beheaded anyone, yet no one thinks to ask Connor if he’s missing anything sharp.

A tarted-up picture of the Bowie knife my dad gave me before he passed away last year. (He was thrilled that I wanted it until I said "Well, sure: one of those things killed Dracula!") One of many objects Connor could have used, as far as the cops are concerned, to behead Fasil. Or Dracula.
A tarted-up picture of my late father’s Bowie knife. (He was thrilled that I wanted it until I said, “Well, sure: one of those things killed Dracula!”) One of many objects Connor could have used, as far as the cops are concerned, to behead Fasil. Or Dracula.

The cops start tossing around theories of the crime, the first of which is that the two men fought over the valuable weapon in an antiques deal gone bad, and Connor/Nash killed Fasil—but not with that sword!—and then left the scene…but not with that sword.

This is where I start to wonder if they are spelling Moran wrong.

Connor, as they say, gives this opinion the consideration it deserves, sarcastically suggesting Fasil did it himself to protest the wrestling match they were both attending. Garfield suggests a sex-crimes angle, because Garfield is a giant weasel, and Connor slugs him. If you’ve spent the last few years reading any urban fantasy or paranormal romance, it seems odd that an immortal would take issue with someone suggesting he was gay now that we as a culture are knee-deep in fictional pansexual vampires, but I suppose that’s the ’80s for you.

There’s a suggestion of super-strength as Connor tosses police around, and every civilian at the station seems to be cheering him on.


Next time: I attempt to make it through Mister Frost again for Found-Again Friday.

Next time on TCBOM: The Kurgan enters the 20th century, and I try to control my glee.


J. A.

It reads. It writes. It watches. It researches. It overdoes many of those things!

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