Last time: The beginning of this time. Seriously, I had no idea this was going to be a two-parter.
23. Like pulling teeth, these are the dates of our lives (Part 2—le geek, c’est chic)
Just when it looks like this might turn into a real date, Brenda notices the other wrapped present Connor brought—a copy of her book on metallurgy, with a bio stating she works for the police. Busted!
“I have an extensive library,” Connor says by way of explanation (one of my favorite lines in this movie). He tells Brenda about the cop outside as she frantically tries to salvage her plan.
“What are you going to do?” she asks.
“The question is,” Connor retorts, “what are you going to do? Are you going to turn off the tape, or are you going to shoot me with the .45?” Busted x3!
So far, so exactly like every other conversation these two have had—cagey to the point of ridiculousness. On the upside, can you imagine what this pair would have been like on a dinner date? Five-minute acrimonious hinting about the wine list, secret agendas involving tiramisu, and if we were lucky, Connor cutting a cake with a sword. “There can be only one! … but two forks, please!”
Now desperate, Brenda empties the bullets from the gun—that’ll kinda-sorta come back to haunt her—and makes a last-ditch plea to see the sword. In a way, it’s like a rundown of the movie from Brenda’s point of view: finding the metal fragments, searching the crime scene, realizing she was on to something amazing. “If I could verify the existence of such a weapon, it would be like discovering a 747 a thousand years before the Wright brothers ever flew!” she finishes with such an awesome, goofy smile that I really love Brenda in that moment. People in movies aren’t always allowed to just geek out about things that way unless they’re villains—and even then, Brenda’s interest in the sword isn’t quite an obsession, the way it would be if she was a movie villain. She just has information she’s excited about and can tell she’s being buffaloed.
Connor is having none of this, and even goes so far as to say, “Don’t you ever think about anything except what you want?” before he leaves. If everyone did that on first dates when he was younger, no wonder the Highlands used to be full of stabby people.
As he storms off, Connor hears the voice of Ramirez again, telling him not to get involved. Here’s a hint: if you do, maybe save the accusations of selfishness till the fourth date. Fifth would be better.
Next time: Chance of Disney, or weirdness.
Next time on TCBOM!: You only thought you knew which part of this movie I hated.
