There Can Be Only Monday! Talking About Highlander…A Lot, Part 10

Last time: The Kurgan turned up, and this author lost her head. Fortunately, this caused absolutely nothing to explode in a blatantly Freudian way.

10. In which various people act like dorks.

As our villain makes himself…comfortable?, we find Brenda in her lab, looking through a microscope. A guy who is clearly some sort of lab tech steps in, delivers traces of metal they found in Fasil’s body, and makes a “really close shave!” joke about the beheading while looking like a complete goob.

This brings up one of the things I love about Highlander: it has a lot of memorable minor characters. (We’ve already seen one of my favorites, the old guy in the flophouse lobby; he’ll be back.) Anonymous Gallows-Humor Forensic Tech Guy is my least favorite by far: It’s probably a tribute to either the writers or the actor that, in the 15 seconds he is onscreen, I just despise him, more than the cop who sexually harasses Brenda, more than the actual villain of the movie, and more than the folks we see in the next Connor flashback, who are some stiff competition.

Brenda, probably thrilled to have policework to do in her actual area of interest, runs some tests on the sword bits. In addition to sending me off to the dictionary to confirm that “absorbance,” so spelled, has a specific scientific meaning, the results intrigue her enough that she returns to the crime scene—a parking deck probably built with huge quantities of rebar and studded with trace metal from all those exploding cars—with a metal detector.

Still, fortune favors the bold main character; the metal detector leads her to a notch in a concrete pillar filled with more traces of Connor’s sword. She extracts them and is almost surprised by Connor, who has come back for the sword he hid. He hides instead, then retrieves his weapon.

Excited about her discovery, Brenda goes to what seems to be her local bar—she’s greeted by name—for a large drink to steady her nerves. Connor turns up, trying to figure out what she knows (being 450 years old doesn’t make you subtle, apparently; he asks if she goes to Madison Square Garden a lot). He also orders a Glenmorangie on the rocks: research suggests ice in Scotch is less of a no-no than I’d supposed, but I did think Connor would have slightly less…mainstream taste in spirits.

He then says “I’d like to walk you home.” That’s not at all creepy from an apparent stalker dressed like Columbo! Still, if you’ve ever seen a movie in your life, you know these two are going to get together—and in fairness, that isn’t even going to be his worst pickup technique: that would be the one that works, later in the film.

Bonus Important Life Lesson I learned from writing this: Don’t do an image search for “ice in Scotch” unless you have an urgent, visceral need to see the entire world supply of whiskey stones all in one go.


Next time: Found-Again Friday.

Next time on TCBOM!: Violence!

J. A.

It reads. It writes. It watches. It researches. It overdoes many of those things!

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