Finally! Friday: She Walks In Shadows Anthology

SWiSbook

Why Finally? This one’s a finally! on two levels: one, of course, is that I said I was going to finish reading the book weeks ago—I think I even mentioned it here on the Omelet. The other is “Finally! Check out this anthology of Lovecraftian fiction, poetry and art all created by women.”

The Premise: See above.

H.P. Lovecraft is a hard author to like, given the man’s egregious racist and classist opinions and the way he spread adjectives around his stories like a thick layer of peanut butter. (It can be hard when reading Lovecraft not to reach a point in the prose where you think,”You know what? If it’s so darned indescribable, maybe stop trying to describe it.”)

My own liking for Lovecraft is partly personal: I can’t consider the author, a funny-looking bookish person with unstable parents and a sense that he arrived in this world when the good part was already over, without feeling that there but for the grace of Cthulhu go I. When your family dynamics start trending toward the Gothic, it’s easy to wonder if the monster is already lurking inside you, and that idea forms the basis of so much of Lovecraft’s work. (More prosaically, Lovecraft was at the center of my most memorable high-school slacking: I’m pretty sure everyone in my English class thought I was reading The Master Builder for our group project, but I stumbled onto “The Rats in the Walls” instead and faked my way through the Ibsen report. The story’s still kind of about architecture, I guess.)

She Walks in Shadows collects several current authors’ spins on stories and ideas in the Lovecraft mythos, punctuated by black-and-white artwork. Check out the page at Innsmouth Free Press for more information and a peek at the content.

The Verdict(s): The trouble with evaluating stories written “in the spirit of ____” is that you find yourself basing your opinion on both the quality of the stories and on how much they draw from the original material you like best. A riff on a story I love is going to seem better than a riff on a story I think is okay, so let me say first that I enjoyed the entire book. My special favorites, though:

  • “The Thing on the Cheerleading Squad,” Molly Tanzer’s take on “The Thing on the Doorstep” in which, as is so often the case, horror lives in high school;
  • “Lavinia’s Wood” by Angela Slatter, a sort of prequel to “The Dunwich Horror” with more Whately family dynamics;
  • Jilly Dreadful’s “De Deabus Minoribus Exterioris Theomagicae,” in which one of those ancient tomes that drive folks mad receives a proper cataloguing. (Stories about books are nearly always my favorites.)

For my taste, it could have used more Innsmouth, but I am obsessed with sea-people of all sorts.

The little jerk actually swatted my hand when I tried to take it away.
The little jerk actually swatted my hand when I tried to take it away.

Might go well with: An awful lot of things I’ve already written about. Also, Amazon Prime video has an updated adaptation of The Thing on the Doorstep that’s worth checking out. Not as good as the story mentioned above, I thought, but interesting.

 

Next time: Robot season!

 

The Quest For Monday! Part 36: All In One

Sadly, the timeline doesn’t allow me to line up the Fourth of July with a Jonny Quest explosion.

(Episode: “The Robot Spy”)

Synopsis: A strange aircraft lands near Dr. Quest’s lab, but it’s not an X-File—just Dr. Zin’s latest scheme. The craft contains a spidery robot sent to steal an invention intended to harmlessly disarm people. In my opinion, that’s the kind of thing you want supervillains to have, but hey, it’s not my story.

Tip 36: In praise of multitools.

This episode’s titular robot is wonderfully efficient, especially for the time period in which it was made. It moves about on its own, disarms enemies with a bonk to the head, sports a built-in webcam…

First 15 minutes free?
First 15 minutes free?

…diagnostic probes…

Spycraft or AI first date—you decide!
Spycraft or AI first date—you decide!

…and, best of all, an ability to hide from children and small dogs.

BQPeekABot

Happy holiday, everyone!

 

Next time: Say what you will about the Frankenstein monster, at least I knew what I’d be writing about on Fridays…

Next time on TQfM!: The inventor’s process.

 

Finally!(?) Friday: Scanners

Why Finally? Because I am squeamish as all get-out, and it’s a David Cronenberg film. I’ve been familiar with his reputation since 1986 and later (surprise!) from my ill-fated attempt to watch The Fly so I could see Jeff Goldblum with no shirt on.

When The Fly finally showed up on cable, I was 13 and very excited. My mother, who was more of a Commander USA’s Groovie Movies kind of person, sat down to watch it with me, but I folded right around the time Seth Brundle starts getting those giant back-hairs at the start of his flyification. Defeated by the yuck factor, I wandered off to my bedroom to read; occasionally Mom would yell out updates like “He just vomited acid!” or “His penis fell off and he put it in the medicine cabinet!” and I would yell back “THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW!” because that is how my family rolls.

Even though it would make one heck of a Found-Again Friday, I’ll probably never watch the entire Fly. But I made it through (and liked) Videodrome a few years ago, so when someone suggested 1981’s Scanners, I decided to go for it. After all, its classic head-exploding scene is pretty famous—so much so that the movie might be considered required viewing under my Deliverance Rule.”

And there was always a chance that would be the grossest part of the movie. Right?

Well…close.

The Premise: A generic government defense/intelligence agency hunts and captures Cameron Vale. Vale is a “scanner,” one of a small group of people who can telepathically mess with other people’s heads—at some pain to the scanner, and a whole lot of pain to us squishy-headed normals. After tutelage by mad scientist Dr. Ruth (Patrick McGoohan—if nothing else, the name proves at least Cronenberg can’t predict the future himself), Vale is sent out to track down a rogue scanner named Darryl Revok. It’s a name that is clearly up to no good, and the character is played by Michael Ironside, so Revok is basically doomed to be very, very evil.

What follows is a psionic version of spy vs. spy, with contacts and allies on both sides becoming casualties of Vale and Revok’s date with destiny.

The Verdict: What kept bugging me as I watched this unfold is something simple: why on earth can’t scanners seem to pick up when someone is after them with a gun? I’d almost bet there’s an explanation that I missed because I know very little about Cronenberg movies (see above re: squeamish as hell).

As a thriller and the story of a man’s search for his identity, Scanners is often excellent, with that bleak aesthetic shared by all 1.3 of the previous Cronenberg films I’ve seen. And while some of its scenes of scanners in action—the head-exploding scene, a sort of mind-melding ritual, Cameron almost killing a tweed-clad yogi—are outstanding, other times the telepathy feels underused or oddly used, and the movie has a bad case of that creeping cinema disease where things explode that really shouldn’t. Despite that (and some eyeball violence), it’s an absolutely worthwhile watch.

Might go well with: Videodrome; Firestarter.

Geez, even the trailer agrees this is a one-scene movie. It’s not!

The Quest For Monday! Part 35: Inartful Dodging

(Episode: “The Robot Spy”)

Synopsis: A strange aircraft that lands near Dr. Quest’s lab isn’t an X-File—just Dr. Zin’s latest scheme. The craft contains a spidery robot that can stun people, spy on them, and (Zin hopes) steal an invention intended to harmlessly disarm people. In my opinion, that’s the kind of thing you want supervillains to have, but hey, it’s not my story.

Today’s tip is something I routinely yell at my television screen because I watch a lot of action movies… and horror movies… and action-horror movies:

Tip 35: DUCK!

Of course, it's probably easier to duck when you know Dr. Quest has hauled the robot into a storeroom...
Of course, it’s probably easier to duck when you know Dr. Quest has hauled the mysterious robot into a storeroom…
The rest of the adventure suggests he's just stunned, but I remember watching this as a kid and thinking he was getting his brain sucked.
The rest of the adventure suggests this guy’s just stunned, but I remember watching this as a kid and thinking he was getting his brain sucked.

Ducking is one of the most valuable skills you can learn, whether you’re facing down a robot spy or a monster or an ennui-filled immortal guy with a sword. Trust me on this.

 

Next time: Possibly a horror movie. Yay!

Next time on TQfM!: It’s a multitool! And I’m not even referring to Dr. Quest!

Found-Again Friday: Guadalcanal Diary’s Flip-Flop Album

Why Found-Again? I’m not sure how a Found-Again music post will go; my inability to write technically about music is exceeded only by my inability to write technically about movies. But in the midst of tearing my hair out trying to find a topic for Friday, I realized I’d already revisited something for the first time in a long time this week: Guadalcanal Diary’s 1989 fourth album, Flip-Flop.

GDAlbumCover

The prosaic answer to the question above is therefore “because I finally ponied up for a CD player for my bedroom.”

The Background: I’ve already done a Musical Interlude post about the southern power-pop trend of the ’80s—popularly typified by REM—which for me managed to combine music I loved with a sense of regional pride. A less sheltered kid would have found out about these bands organically, but my first exposure to Georgia’s Guadalcanal Diary was a review of Flip-Flop in my mom’s copy of People magazine. I tracked down the cassette at a record store in Norfolk after I heard the single “Always Saturday” on the radio, and a decades-long enthusiasm was born.

The single wasn’t entirely typical of the band’s sound, but I fell in love with Flip-Flop…until I got my hands on their first full-length album, Walking in the Shadow of the Big Man. Guadalcanal Diary released four full-length LPs in the 1980s, and my personal ranking of them would involve two ties:

  1. Walking in the Shadow of the Big Man and 2×4
  2. Jamboree and Flip-Flop

The albums in the number-one spot are a huge part of the soundtrack of my existence from ages sixteen to nineteen. The others…less so.

Because despite bringing the guitar-heavy sound that characterized Guadalcanal Diary…

and making lots of room for the outstanding vocals of singer Murray Attaway, who wails and snarls and purrs like no one else on earth…

…There’s something a little lacking when Flip-Flop is compared to the previous albums. The only word I can think of for it is urgency, and when you consider this was the “final” record for an awfully long time—there has been more music since, and the band members have done other projects—perhaps its slightly elegiac tone makes sense. Compare, for example, to one of my favorites from 2×4:

The Verdict: The same as it was for the movie Oscar, really. Would I change its place in the ranking above after giving Flip-Flop another listen-through? No. Does it deserve more attention than I’ve paid to it over the years? Hell yes.

Might go well with: Pour the summer beverage of your choice and have a listen.

 

Next time: Set robots to stun.

 

The Quest For Monday! Part 34: Eight-Legged Sneaks?

(Episode: “The Robot Spy”)

Synopsis: A strange aircraft that lands near Dr. Quest’s lab isn’t an X-File—just Dr. Zin’s latest scheme. The craft contains a spidery robot that can stun people, spy on them, and (Zin hopes) steal an invention intended to harmlessly disarm people. In my opinion, that’s the kind of thing you want supervillains to have, but hey, it’s not my story.

This week we’re going to be a little more lit-crit than usual and point out that…

Tip 34: Sometimes it’s what isn’t said that is most interesting.

A spider emerges from a UFO: two phobias for the price of one, perhaps?
A spy-spider emerges from a UFO. Another one of those Quest family Wednesdays…

Here’s exhibit A. Whether deliberately or for ease of use, evil Dr. Zin has made his robot in the shape of one of the most common objects of phobia: a spider. We know at least one member of Team Quest has a little problem with those, yet no one really mentions it as this big guy scuttles around doing his dirty work. I think that’s a shame.

Speaking of things nobody discusses directly, Hadji continues to have powers beyond the ken of mortal man.

BQAirBandit

Next time: For the first time in a long time, I genuinely have no idea.

Next time on TQfM!: More spindly-legged goodness.

Finally! Friday: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

“Dear Diary, why does no one understand me? P.S., I am not mad.”–Victor Frankenstein’s school friend Clerval, mocking him.

Why Finally? …and by “Mary Shelley’s,” we mean “now with Kenneth Branagh!” It’s time to sit down with a movie I’ve been putting off since the year it came out (and putting off even harder after I started watching all those Frankenfilms last year).

It would appear my timing is unusually good this week.

The Premise: I feel sure I’ve already mentioned somewhere on this site about Dr. Frankenstein and his habit of playing god with charnel leftovers; like Frankenstein: The True Story, this version hews close to the book, Arctic voyages and all. Victor F., spurred by the deaths of his mother and his mentor and possessed of an intellectual method best described as “better science through shouting,” creates his monster (Robert De Niro) using a steampunk contraption full of electric eels. He then promptly rejects it for being an icky sewn-together corpse—parents, am I right?— and the usual mayhem of a spurned monster ensues.

Monster time!
Time to meddle in that which man was never meant to know!
This was by far the most frightening Frankenstein's monster I've seen yet, and I'm getting to be a bit of a connoisseur.
This was by far the most frightening Frankenstein’s monster I’ve seen yet, and by now I’m a bit of a connoisseur.

Of all the versions of Dr. Frankenstein I’ve seen, this is the only one I can imagine someone actually wanting to marry, even for a minute—probably because this movie has a much greater emphasis on the domestic side of the plot, and we become invested in his relationship with Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter).  Considering how badly that goes—Victor even attempts a grotesque resurrection after the monster murders Elizabeth—it feels odd to say it’s refreshing, but over the last year I’ve watched far too many movies in which Frankenstein’s fiancée is dragged around the plot like an awkward piece of luggage.

The Verdict: I hope no one would be shallow enough to rate a movie adaptation solely on hairstyle design, but if anyone did, this would be considered the greatest movie ever made.

HairsAndGraces
Branagh and Aidan Quinn. Look at those curls!

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is over the top, but in a way clearly drawn from its source material and which allows Branagh to chew all the scenery his handsome heart desires (I mean this as a compliment: big is what the man does best).  The action sequences are excellent, as is the cast, and I lost track of the number of artists whose work seems to have influenced the sets, from Bosch hellscapes to Turneresque skies and far, far beyond. Really good.

Might go well with: Absinthe. Avoid meat during this movie at all costs; after all, it might come back for revenge.

 

Next time: Spydaddy longlegs.

The Quest For Monday! Part 33: Work Ethic

Welcome back, campers!

(Episode: “The Robot Spy”)

Synopsis: When a strange aircraft lands near Dr. Quest’s lab, it’s not an X-File—just Dr. Zin’s latest scheme. The craft contains a spidery robot that can stun people, spy on them, and (Zin hopes) steal an invention intended to harmlessly disarm people. In my opinion, that’s the kind of thing you want supervillains to have instead of the engines of destruction they so often do, but hey, it’s not my story.

Tip 33: With perseverance, you can achieve your goals.

A lab with your name on it is a sure sign that you have Arrived. More cynically, what do you want to bet this is supposed to be a secret installation?
A lab with your name on it is a sure sign that you have Arrived. More cynically, what do you want to bet this is supposed to be a secret installation?

This episode also gives us the unofficial motto of Jonny Quest:

"...and then probably shoot it."
“…and then we’ll probably shoot it.”

 

Next time: I’ve put it off as long as I can, but this week I combine two of my reluctant interests and watch Kenneth Branagh’s Frankenstein.

Next time on TQfM!: We see the robot spy—and it probably sees us right back.

Apropos of Nothing: The Day The Music (Un?)Died

A music-flavored anecdote from my youth:

When I was a kid, time in the car with my parents was spent listening to WLTY*, the “lite” radio station that played ’60s, ’70s and ’80s music, with a little ’50s thrown in. (This is probably where I get my lifelong affinity for sappy songs. You will pry my copy of History: America’s Greatest Hits from my cold, dead fingers, if that.)

Sometimes WLTY would play Richie Valens, and Mom would say, “He was so good. It’s a shame there won’t be more music from him.” Valens, of course, was dead.

Sometimes they’d play Jim Croce—actually, often they’d play Jim Croce—and again: “He was so talented. It’s a shame there won’t be any more music.” Jim Croce, as you probably know, is also no longer with us.

Sometimes they’d play “American Pie” or “Vincent” by Don McLean, and my mother would say exactly the same thing…

You can see where this is going, can’t you? To me being the only person struck with eldritch terror upon finding out Don McLean was playing Harborfest in 1990, that’s where.

Well, technically yes, in the sense of "alive."
Well, technically yes, in the sense of “alive.”

Our house had an open-plan kitchen/living room. I was on the sofa. “Mom?” I called out.

Mom, cooking dinner: “What?”

I cleared my throat meaningfully. “It says here Don McLean’s playing in Norfolk this weekend.”

Nothing. If he weren’t a zombie, wouldn’t she express some interest since she loved his music? Then again, if he were in fact a zombie, she should definitely express some interest. I tried again.

“But isn’t he, you know…”

She did not know.

“…um…you know…dead?”KillingMeSoftlyWithHisTeeth

Thinking a musician from times past is dead is a normal mistake (especially in 2016). That’s the point at which a normal human being would have looked at the news and concluded that they’d misinterpreted what might be called Mom’s Standard Eulogy For Musicians. I’d love to say I have no idea what I was thinking, but I do. I was thinking GHOSTS AT HARBORFEST!, and for some reason couldn’t be deterred from thinking it.

What was even less  normal, in retrospect, was the way I not only brought it up but  backed gently into the idea, as if I were actually going to find out that Don McLean was a revenant, but only if I asked in just the right way so as not to alarm the ‘rents.

Eventually my mother stopped laughing at me…for this particular incident, anyway.

And I have never, in the intervening decades, been in any doubt as to whether Don McLean is alive or dead. In fact, every time I tell this story I seem to gain yet another person who will personally call me on the phone if and when the sad news ever breaks.

I can’t say I actively recommend the “embarrass yourself horribly” method of remembering whether a given famous person is alive or not, but I do know it works like a charm.

 

*I see that the WLTY call letters are now used by a station in Cayce, SC. The mystic Edgar Cayce used to live in…the Tidewater area, where I grew up! Coincidence? You bet.

The Quest For Monday Reaches A Rest Area…

I’ve finished both the detective handbook for Fridays and the first disc of the  Jonny Quest DVD set, so I’m going to take it easy this week. Weird anecdote from my adolescence on Wednesday!

 

Just because I really liked it, here's that mummy again.
Just because I really like it, here’s that mummy again.