Synopsis: A political plotter thinks he can unite all Arab peoples around a stolen Egyptian artifact. Unfortunately for him, the theft gets the attention of Team Quest and of an ancient mummy, whose animated, revenge-focused existence fails to raise a single scientific eyebrow during the entire episode.
Tip 10: Make allies.
There’s a saying that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
When the enemy of your enemy is also a fiend born from the darkest depths of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, even better.
Look at that skull!
Special author’s note: The dialogue in that chase scene with Jonny and Hadji from last week is the most Roger-Moore-Bond thing I’ve ever seen in animation, and that includes all of Danger Mouse.
Next time: The movie I ranked as the worst I’d ever seen in 2005. It’s pretty much got to be better now.
Next time on TQfM! I don’t remember what a “Po-Ho” is, so this should be fun.
Synopsis: A political plotter thinks he can unite all Arab peoples around a stolen Egyptian artifact. Unfortunately for him, the theft gets the attention of Team Quest and of an ancient mummy, whose animated, revenge-focused existence fails to raise a single scientific eyebrow during the entire episode.
Tip 9: Motorcycle safety is very important.
Even if you’re making an improvised escape from henchmen, it’s usually a good idea to protect your head.
Bad Jonny!
…Of course, some kind of helmet is more traditional.
Thinking outside the tent…then through it, then outside again.
Next time: A retro dance mix for your holiday. Needed more “U Got the Look,” but what can you do?
Synopsis: A political plotter thinks he can unite all Arab peoples around a stolen Egyptian artifact. Unfortunately for him, the theft gets the attention of Team Quest and of an ancient mummy, whose animated, revenge-focused existence fails to raise a single scientific eyebrow during the entire episode.
Tip 8: There’s nothing wrong with a little book-learning once in a while, even if you are an Intrepid Adventurer.
Gather around, troopers! Today we learn about the pathetic fallacy.
In addition to being one of those terms that sounds like an insult when shouted fast enough, the pathetic fallacy is usually used to describe nature imitating mood in art. Every crooner in a music video who ever sang sad songs to his girl in the rain was standing right in one of those things, as was nearly everyone in Wuthering Heights most of the time.
But, as its Wikipedia page reminds us, the phrase was sometimes used less to describe the devices themselves—the Rain of Sorrowful Tears, the Storm of Emotional Unrest, the Unseasonably Sunny Day of Joy—than the effect. How the sky seems less bright when you’ve just been dumped, for example.
Which pharaoh was known for his unerring sense of drama again?
Or how spooky the moon looks when you’re being stalked by an unearthly revenant bent on retrieving its sacred artifact. You know.
Next time: Honestly, The Bride of Frankenstein. I swear!
Next time on TQfM!: We mine similar ground to this great work of the canon.
Synopsis: A political plotter thinks he can unite all Arab peoples around a stolen Egyptian artifact. Unfortunately for him, the theft gets the attention of Team Quest and of an ancient mummy, whose animated, revenge-focused existence fails to raise a single scientific eyebrow during the entire episode.
Tip 7: Religion and politics don’t mix.
Like this fellow, you may think that “When there is real unity among Arab nations, Anubis will bless us”—
Usually, there are only two reasons a character in fiction wears a white suit; I’m pretty sure the mustache alone rules out “angel.”
But such discussions require a very specific sort of audience.
I.e., not this one.
You never know whom you might offend…and you’d better hope it’s not the gods.
(Author’s note: I can’t tell you all how happy I am to reach this episode. I forgot the first two Jonny Quests were straightforward adventure stories—easy to do when you’ve seen some of the weirder ones!—and have been spending many Mondays slumped over my laptop whining about how much I miss Highlander. But now…you know…we can start the party.)
Next time: Bride of Frankenstein, because I’m pretty sure I’ve really seen that one before.
Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.
Tip 6: Don’t be afraid to take risks in service of doing the right thing.
“Even if it kills Race…I mean, me.”
…Especially if the right thing involves big, splashy explosions that wipe out the bad guys.
If this were in the South, someday one of my relatives would give directions by saying, “Turn left where that old downed missile used to be…”
Next time: Found-Again Friday will likely be postponed; the good news is, the movie I once rated as the worst I’d ever seen has not yet arrived from Netflix. Which brings us to…
Next time on TQfM!: In case I haven’t mentioned it oftenenough, I really like mummies.
Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.
Tip 5: Always take time to note the native fauna.
A trip to the polar regions is a good time to get close to the animals:
Despite common preconceptions,these bears prefer Sprite; it doesn’t stain their fur. Camouflage is paramount.The rare Sam Waterston‘s Whale, with characteristic eyebrows.
On the other hand, responsible explorers will take care not to get too close.
Why Found-Again? Philosophically, because I was around this show a lot when I was younger, even if I never paid it much attention beyond “Why is that guy from Riptideon the TV again?” Practically, because I am starting to run out of DVDs to put on my Netflix queue—I tried adding Shogun first, but believe me, this is better. Or at least faster…which is better.
The Premise: Jake (Joe Penny) is a cop; he works with District Attorney J.L. McCabe, the titular Fatman (William Conrad). Jake has an awesome (if waaaaay too ’80s) apartment; McCabe has an office full of antique weapons—did someone say swords??—and an adorable bulldog named Max. Together they solve crimes…although how they do that is somewhat less than clear; like Columbo, Jake seems to intuitively know who the bad guys are.
Admittedly, I’m only partway through Volume 2 of the Season 1 DVDs (and I’d like to have a word with some manufacturers about these numbering systems, but not before I exact vengeance for the lack of a “Play All” option. Don’t get me started on the sadist who designed the Remington Steele DVD menu. But I digress.), but rewatching has proved interesting. I remembered this as a “cop show,” but I find my favorite parts of Jake and the Fatman inevitably involve McCabe cross-examining the heck out of hapless witnesses. Much more of this and I’m going to be driven to a McCoy-era Law & Order marathon. The guests stars are also pretty good, including Jeffrey “Re-Animator” Combs, and there are enough regulars on the show that we get a little insight into the main characters’ relationships with people in the office.
The Verdict: I feel like I’ve written up enough of these to offer a ranking, so here we go: I’d put it above Hart to Hart unless you’re looking for sheer whimsy, and it ranks around Simon & Simon without having a theme song that makes you want to rip your own ears off. Solid, but no Magnum, P.I.
Might go well with: Whatever it is, you should be hanging out with your pets when you eat it.
Next time: More polar adventuring with the Quest family.
Synopsis: When an experimental missile goes down in the Arctic, the Quests try to find it before enemy agents do. They fail in this and are captured, but manage to detonate the missile, keeping its secrets safe. They also see a lot of wildlife.
Tip 4: Plan, plan, plan.
No expedition is complete without putting a lot of thought into things like food, shelter, transport, and who or what might’ve knocked a secret weapon into the polar regions. Make lists! Draw diagrams! Check your ideas with friends!
Build small models even though you have perfectly good access to specs and a video feed, and leave them lying around your office!
Details count.
Next time: I’ve been too long away from old cop shows…until now.
Next time on TQfM!: If you thought polar bears were already in trouble, just you wait.
Synopsis: A group of bad guys blows up ships while testing their new laser weapon. Being expert in all things sciency, Dr. Quest and family are asked to investigate: eventually they defeat the enemy using a big mirror.
Tip 3: Everyone makes mistakes…no, really!
It’s a tough world out there. One minute you’re out seeking the Lost Temple of the Bewildered Goldfish God and the next you find out the curse wasn’t even real. (Well, it was, but only for eleven seconds.) And so it is with the Quests, who quickly realize the Lizard Men are just laser-wielding scuba divers and deal with them accordingly…with science!
Take a good look while you can…there’s a mirror aimed at his laser beam. (And why did the people reporting frog-men not add “CYCLOPTIC” to that description? It seems important.)
But while all’s well that ends well, this adventure only goes to show the importance of bouncing back when you make mistakes—mistakes like, oh, I don’t know, overestimating the load-bearing capacities of a rope.
And by “bouncing back,” I mean “…after first falling down a hatch and knocking yourself out cold.”
Resilience, my dears.
Next time: I have the perfect Found-Again movie. I can tell because I hate the very idea of rewatching it. Also, as I said last time, I’ll be participating in the They Remade What?! Blogathon hosted by Phyllis Loves Classic Movies. Like Charade? Like The Truth About Charlie? Hate either and have really good reasons why? Come comment on my upcoming post!
Next time on The Quest For Monday!: The Quests head north. Pack your thermals!
Synopsis: A group of bad guys blows up ships while testing their new laser weapon. Being expert in all things sciency, Dr. Quest and family are asked to investigate: eventually they defeat the enemy using a big mirror.
Tip 2: Technology is your friend! Well, maybe not *your* friend…
It’s the villains’ eternal ally:
I also like to think this is how they make toast. Eeeeeeevil toast.
Even Dr. Quest can bend it to his will…
Maybe it’s me, but this just seems like the kind of demo where goggles might be in order.
But lasers can be a cruel mistress/adversary. Just ask this guy, assuming you know Portuguese.
“Tchau, mundo cruel!”
Always take care around beams of killer light.
Next time: A 10% chance of Goldblum for Friday.
Next time on TQfm!: Proper form when getting shanghaied.
