Synopsis: It’s Hadji’s origin story! The awesome orphan meets the Quests for the first time and helps foil a plot to manufacture nerve gas. Also on the scene is Hadji’s friend, the greedy Pasha Peddler, who has a knack for making timely rescues profitable.
Tip 28: Sometimes you just need to slow down…
And we all thought Race only had one gear…cleverly encoded in his name.
…and one of those times is when you are being chased by an airplane.
(Yes, this does add yet another fatality to whatever the Jonny Quest death rolls are by now. Low double digits, I think.)
Why Found-Again? In the words of The Golden Girls’ Sophia Petrillo, picture it: creative writing class, 1993.
There are people in these classes who are, bluntly stated, unreasonably up themselves. The ones who think they need to drink like the Beats to write well. The ones who never seem to depart from a certain subset of “literary, but ‘edgy'” authors in their inspirations. The walking prototypes for the main character in Valerie on the Stairs.
In this class, I managed to get sandwiched between two of these guys, who spent the first half of the semester talking literally over my head about movies and beer and Carver and Updike (Palahniuk wasn’t a thing yet) until I thought I’d pull a Bertha Mason and run mad.
They were obsessed with Barton Fink, and I was soon sick of not knowing why, so on my next trip home I grabbed my friend K. and set up a movie night. My first indication that my movie nights are cursed was my decision to watch The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover and Barton Fink in the same night. I remember it only as a long night of shared art-film pain (well, that and the revelation that John Goodman is an amazing actor), and I haven’t touched either movie since.
By now, of course, I know there are Coen Brothers movies I like—and even love—so perhaps I was a little hard on Mr. Fink. Let’s find out.
The Premise: In 1941, playwright Barton Fink (John Turturro) is lured to Hollywood to be a screenwriter, and it goes spectacularly badly. He has writer’s block, he has a neighbor from hell—perhaps literally?—and he tries to get advice from a washed-up author who is a fictional analogue of William Faulkner, all while slowly slipping into the writers’ version of the Hollywood studio meat grinder. And then there’s the murder.
I was right about one thing all those years ago: the movie can sometimes be a little slow. That said, this quickly shot up from my previous estimation (sort of a dull groan) through “quite bearable” to “good.” It’s a fascinating combination of noir, psychological study, and to some degree a meditation on religion and ideals: Barton’s idea of serving his fellow man doesn’t long survive actually meeting his fellow man, and this drives most of the plot. Barton Fink is one of those films Found-Again Friday was made for, and I am happy to relieve it of that other word I used to put in the middle of the title.
“She finally gets it! Drink!”
The Verdict: Twofold. One, this was a fun rewatching of something I thought might be agony (remember Beyond Therapy?) and provides some interesting backstory and comparisons to the Coens’ most recent release, Hail, Caesar!, since the same fictional movie studio appears in each. The second thing? After having a similar experience watching and rewatching Mister Frost, I’m starting to suspect I can’t watch a certain kind of film too late at night—art films. And here I’d always assumed it would be zombie movies…
Might go well with: The Shining, Miller’s Crossing, an explanation of why 90% of typewriters in movies and television are Underwoods. Really, what did Olivetti do to Hollywood?
Synopsis: It’s Hadji’s origin story! The awesome orphan meets the Quests for the first time and helps foil a plot to manufacture nerve gas. Also on the scene is Hadji’s friend, the greedy Pasha Peddler, who has a knack for making timely rescues profitable.
Tip 27: Safety is more important than etiquette.
Eavesdropping is wrong; eavesdropping on the people trying to kill you might, however, be necessary.
If you’re wondering why Dr. Quest is letting this happen when he knows about it for once, so am I.
Astute campers will notice that Jonny is helped by a version of the legendary Indian rope trick. Alas, the mind-blowing knowledge that this not only is real but can be done by a ten-year-old boy is of as much interest to scientist Benton Quest as that mummy from a while back.
You’d think “Rope Trick” and “Cobra Charm” would require different tunes, but they do not. The more you know™…
Special bonus screenshot: Dr. Quest forgets all kinds of Indian history.
(As you may notice, this week’s Friday post is on Saturday because the website went spoink! yesterday. In other news, I now know one elementary way to unspoink a website.)
Why Found-Again? Because for some reason no one’s gotten around to making CSI: Bayport yet.
My favorite part of this one is the way Joe(?) is stink-eyeing my pretty ruler.
The Premise: We’re back in sit-Chet-down-and-talk-at-him mode for the beginning of this chapter, “The Clue of the Broken Pencil,” while all three Hardys take the poor lad through the basics of crime scene photography and recording. They start, however, with this howler:
To put this in context, every person involved in the above conversation was standing over a murdered policeman’s body in Chapter 5, and every person involved is still not a law-enforcement officer*. (This is one of the things I miss about having a kid’s perspective on this book: when I first read it, well, of course it was okay for teenagers to be hanging around multiple crime scenes! Kids are smart, right?)
No sooner have the Hardys taught Chet how to graph items on scene sketches—and as ever, my respect for the real-life people who did all this stuff by hand only grows with each chapter—than word comes in of a burglary. A burglary at a factory that makes gold- and silver-rimmed eyeglasses. That’s right, somebody spends time in this story running around with a literal chest full of gold. Arrrrrr.
The chest is recovered in the woods, and one of Chet’s crime-scene sketches eventually reveals the robbery was an inside job. The police catch up with the crooked bookkeeper, and a search reveals the titular broken pencil.
This is the handbook’s version of suspect search. Seems way more involved than the frisking you see on TV.
(Those of you still seeking tips for budding villains can now add “Make sure your car isn’t likely to break down” to the list. At least it wasn’t Turkish cigarettes this time.)
When confronted, the bad guy actually says “You’ve got nothing on me, copper,” for which alone he deserves jail time.
The Verdict: I liked the apprehension of the suspect (and the box o’ gold), but all in all, this wasn’t one of the better chapters. It’s a slightly dry subject, there isn’t a lot of integration with previous chapters, and the story leans too hard on Chet making all the good discoveries in the first half. When we find out the villain said the police were hicks, we shouldn’t have sympathy for his opinion—but they were just schooled by a teenaged tyro.
*I can’t say for sure that Fenton’s not some kind of honorary deputy, since this is the only Hardy Boys book I’ve read in 20+ years. He certainly should be if he’s just going to hang around all the time.
Synopsis: It’s Hadji’s origin story! The awesome orphan meets the Quests for the first time and helps foil a plot to manufacture nerve gas. Also on the scene is Hadji’s friend, the greedy Pasha Peddler, who has a knack for making timely rescues profitable.
Tip 26: Like the old saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention.
It’s a basket lid AND a shield!
…which is good if, like Dr. Quest, you seem to be the mother of multiple assassination attempts.
A typical Quest family Wednesday.
Next time: We get reunited with the Hardy Boys on Friday.
Why Finally? This 1973 version was recommended while I was in mid-rant about the odd Franken-kick I went on with last year’s Friday posts, during which I watched Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Young Frankenstein (I didn’t write that one up), and Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. I still haven’t seen the Branagh version…and just realized that it’s been *mumble* number of years since I took time from my college studies to watch Haunted Summer. At least we know what to look for in 2016…
The Premise: After his brother dies, Dr. Victor Frankenstein (Leonard Whiting, who was Romeo in the Zeffirelli Romeo & Juliet—many Americans will therefore recognize him as “the guy whose butt we saw in 9th-grade English”) is despondent. He decides to conquer the secrets of life, first being as snotty about it as possible to his fiancée Elizabeth. Even before he spends part of the movie reminding everyone he’s a doctor, you quickly realize this is the sort of man who reminds everyone he’s a doctor.
Victor hooks up with another mad scientist, Henry (David “Ducky on NCIS” McCallum), and together they plan to build their monster out of workmen killed in a building disaster. Henry has a weak heart, however, so when a setback in their process manifests, he dies before he can tell Victor—and his brain is popped into the monster. Waste not, want not.
The overarching goal of the production, explained in a spoiler-filled intro by a gentleman standing at Mary Shelley’s grave, is to tell the story more as it appeared in the original novel and less like the 1930s movies. This it certainly does, and with a number of visual touches that would have fit perfectly into Ken Russell’s Gothic, even as it hits many stops familiar to fans of the old films. The cast is magnificent: Whiting and McCallum are joined by John Gielgud, James Mason, Agnes Moorehead, and Jane Seymour (I wasn’t familiar with Michael Sarazzin, who played the monster, but he gives a heartbreaking performance as the creation who falls from grace through no fault of his own).
The Verdict: To put it bluntly, this may be the only 3-hour film I’ve ever enjoyed that didn’t have a dragon in it somewhere. Yes, some parts are the purest fromage; it’s an old TV movie/miniseries. Nonetheless, if you’re interested in the Frankenstein lore—which I am largely not!—it’s very good and cheaply available on DVD.
Random Note: Judging by this film, being the Fourth Doctor was just something Tom Baker did in between playing rough-spoken, bearded sea captains. And I’m okay with that.
Might go well with: Tea, opera, any of the other five zillion Frankenstein movies.
Next time: Who needs a special-forces guard when you have a kid with a basket?
Synopsis: It’s Hadji’s origin story! The awesome orphan meets the Quests for the first time and helps foil a plot to manufacture nerve gas. Also on the scene is Hadji’s friend, the greedy Pasha Peddler, who has a knack for making timely rescues profitable.
Tip 25: Always lead with the bad news.
Dr. Quest is in Calcutta for a presentation on sound waves, which he kicks off by destroying [a scale model of] New York.
The tough part is getting through the demo without saying “BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!”
The good news about sound waves, of course, is that porpoises can talk to each other.
The last time I was really excited about whale language acquisition was right around the first time I watched Jonny Quest, so this tracks.
Next time: Undecided for Friday. Will it be Barton Fink, or do I dare write up another Frankenstein adaptation?
Next time on TQfM! Jonny tackles making a new friend. Yes, that’s a pun.
Write about the Quests’ return to Hadji’s homeland.
Watch Barton Fink 20 years after the first time to see whether my feelings about it remain the same (“the same” meaning “basically unprintable unless I were somehow writing a reboot of Deadwood in which Al Swearengen has seen Barton Fink and isn’t happy about it”).
Things I plan to do this week:
Finish reading that one Dresden Files book I own.
Finish reading that Lovecraft-inspired anthology I own.
See if any of my weird drafts might be polished up into an Apropos of Nothing post for Wednesday.
Spend some time returning to the roots of the site.
Why Found-Again? Because I’ve watched more cop shows than you’ve had hot dinners. Heck, given Law & Order marathons, probably more than I’ve had hot dinners.
Quick! How many coins are lying around the book as a silly observation exercise?
The Premise: This week’s chapter is about observation and memory, and we’ve got an actual murder for this one! Police chief Collig’s rookie-cop nephew has been killed at a traffic stop, and the chief and the Hardys are investigating—which seems less weird when you remember how few police officers Bayport seems to have. Sure, it’s a conflict of interest, but they’re probably down to nine guys and one over-18 civilian!
Sidekick Chet once again along for the ride, the boys set about looking for clues while teaching their chum how to train his powers of observation. This starts with simple memory exercises and then, once they find the car involved in the shooting, moves on to a discussion of how law enforcement records things out of the ordinary in their surroundings. Sure enough, our bad guy was recently questioned by another cop, at which time he gave a terrible alias:
Someone needs this as a nom d’internet ASAP.
Granted, his name is Amos Chipman, so it’s not as bad as it seems (and this may be a good time to point out that every villain in this book has a name that sounds picked from The Big Book Of Fictional Longshoremen). Through some canvassing the area, the Hardys find their man, leading to the noirest illustration in the whole handbook.
In case you’re worried, they just wing him.
The Verdict: I liked this one, even if the chain of clues is started by the pure dumb luck of Chet spotting the car. The writers ably made up for the lack of technical detail in this chapter with a pretty good story—though there’s yet another cigar/cigarette clue. I wonder how much case clearance in Bayport would drop if everybody just quit smoking.
As a bonus, one of my favorite movie scenes about observation, from the Holmes-Watson role-reversal comedy Without A Clue:
Next time: We start a new Jonny Quest! I’ve been waiting to say that for weeks.
(Episode: “Treasure of the Temple” —Last time! Really!)
Synopsis: An Australian-sounding adventurer tries to stop Team Quest from exploring an ancient jungle temple the looter has his sights on, even going so far as to subjugate the natives. This show not being called Guy Who Would Almost Certainly Be Played By Tim Roth In The Movie Version, though, he does not prevail. Additionally, nature tries its damnedest to murder Race Bannon.
Tip 24. I can guarantee this one is actual good advice.
Even if you know the terrain, even if your escape is nearly a foregone conclusion…
Watch out for spiders.
According to Dr. Quest, this is from “a cave spider…deadly poisonous!” A few minutes on the internet strongly suggest that the eminent scientist is fibbing again, probably because he shot the darned thing.
And for those of you wondering what became of our villain…crocodiles, that’s what.
‘Nuff said.
And if that wasn’t enough of a happy ending, Benton Quest learns to modulate his voice. Aww.
Next time: The Hardy Boys teach you how to observe in the handbook’s darkest chapter yet.
Next time on TQfM!: We’ll be tagging along for “Calcutta Adventure.”
